Are We Listening Enough? A Wake-Up Call for All Parents

By Dr. Sumita Giri | Life & Parenting Coach

“When there is time, we don’t understand. And when we understand, there is no time left.”
The Silent Crisis: Student Suicides in India

Every year, we see a horrifying pattern: student suicides. It’s a topic that appears in news headlines for a few days and then slowly disappears from our conversations. But the pain and loss stay forever — especially for the parents who have lost a child.

In India, student suicides often rise during the 9th to 12th-grade years — the most emotionally sensitive and academically pressured phase of a child’s life. Competitive exams like NEET and JEE, once seen as opportunities, have now become sources of anxiety, fear, and burnout.

Let’s look at just one recent example:
In the NEET exam held on May 5, 2024, about 25 lakh students appeared. The paper leak controversy, poorly scanned OMR sheets, and delayed justice created widespread confusion. What message are we sending our children? That even after years of hard work, things might not go right?

Are we as parents, teachers, and society doing enough to protect our children emotionally?

What We’re Doing Wrong

We often think children will “figure things out” as they grow older. But in reality, they need us more than ever during their teenage years.

Here’s where we’re going wrong:

• We stop communicating
  As children move into higher classes, our involvement reduces. They lock themselves in their rooms, and we let them. We tell ourselves they’re “grown up” now. But inside, they’re struggling.
  
• We glorify success, ignore emotions
  We tell our children: “Become a doctor or engineer. If you don’t, you’ve failed.”
  But is success only about marks and ranks? What about happiness, mental health, and self-worth?
  
• We measure time, not connection
  We talk about spending “quality time” with our kids. But time can’t be divided like that. What they need is emotional time — where they feel heard, supported, and loved.
  
• We blame the system but don’t change at home
  Yes, the education system needs reform. But the change must also begin at home in how we treat, understand, and talk to our children.
  

A Cage of Expectations

Our children are like birds meant to fly. But we often trap them in cages of our own expectations.
“Now study.”
“Now score.”
“Now crack the entrance.”
“Now become successful.”

In doing this, we forget to ask:
“Are you okay?”
“What do you want?”
“What are you struggling with?”

We must understand not every child is meant to top a test. Some are meant to create music, some to write stories, some to build, some to heal, some to teach. And every path is valid.

So What Can We Do Differently?

Here are a few ways we can bring real change into our homes and schools:

1. Start early, stay involved
   Emotional support should begin in childhood and continue into adolescence. Be a part of your child’s world — even when they push you away.
   
2. Talk daily, not occasionally
   Don’t wait for a crisis to talk. Make space for small, everyday conversations. Even 10 honest minutes are better than hours of forced advice.
   
3. Focus on effort, not just outcomes
   Praise your child’s hard work, not just their marks. Teach them that failure is a part of growth, not the end of the road.
   
4. Recognize warning signs
   A closed door, a sudden change in behavior, withdrawal from friends — these are not “teenage mood swings.” These could be cries for help.
   
5. Teach emotional vocabulary
   Help your child express feelings. Sad, anxious, tired, angry — they should be able to say it, without fear or shame.
   
6. Seek help when needed
   Therapy, counseling, coaching — these are not signs of weakness. They’re signs of courage. If your child needs support, get it.
   

Let’s Raise Happy Adults, Not Just High Achievers

As parents and educators, our job isn’t to create toppers — it’s to raise fulfilled, confident, emotionally healthy human beings. A child who feels safe and supported at home grows into an adult who can face the world with strength.

So today, I ask every parent reading this:
Can we change ourselves just a little more for our children?
Can we listen a little more, judge a little less, love a lot more?

Because if we don’t do it now, we may never get the chance again.

Here’s a children- and parent-friendly blog post crafted from the above video content. It’s simplified, emotionally engaging, and stays close to your original tone, while remaining under 1000 words:

Becoming Krishna and Dronacharya: The Teachers and Parents Our Children Need Today

Every Stage of Teaching Matters

Whether you’re a junior teacher, a mid-level educator, or a senior principal, you play a crucial role in a child’s growth. Every stage allows us to contribute differently to a child’s emotional and academic journey.

When a parent sends their child to us, it’s an act of trust.
And somewhere, our own children are out there under someone else’s care. That mutual trust should guide how we treat every student — not as a roll number, but as someone’s whole world.

Are We Just Giving or Truly Caring?

We often think providing things is love:

• We earn for our children.
• We spend on their education.
• We want them to look good, succeed, and shine.
  

But are we giving them what they really need?
A child who feels secure. A child who knows someone is there — not just to correct them, but to understand and support them.

From Parent to Guru: Let’s Become Krishna and Dronacharya

Indian mythology offers timeless guidance. Let’s take two examples: Krishna and Dronacharya.

1. Be Like Krishna — The Guide in Disguise

Krishna was not just a friend to Arjuna; he was his spiritual guide, his emotional strength. He didn’t command — he helped Arjuna realize his potential and responsibility.

As parents, we should be like Krishna — guiding from behind, not pushing from the front.
Let’s show our children the beauty in goodness. If we don’t, evil — in the form of distraction, addiction, peer pressure — will attract them more.

It’s our job to make goodness appealing — through stories, through empathy, and through example.

2. Be Like Dronacharya — The Mentor Who Sees the Spark

Dronacharya taught many students, but he saw a special spark in Arjuna. Not because Arjuna was perfect  but because he was willing to learn, to grow. Even when students struggle, it’s our role to see the strength in them — not just their weaknesses.

Every child has something beautiful.
Let’s find that arrow in their quiver — that one talent, one strength — and help them sharpen it.

But today, with 60 students in a class and little personal attention, we’re moving far from the Gurukul model. We need to slowly bring back personal connections — where teachers aren’t just lecturers but life mentors.

Information vs. Transformation

Children today have access to everything — facts, data, resources.
But what they lack is transformation — the ability to apply values, to feel emotionally equipped to face life. That’s where we come in. As parents and teachers, we are the bridge between knowing and becoming.

Let’s not just inform — let’s transform.

So What Can We Do? A Few Simple But Powerful Steps

1. See Every Child Individually
   Don’t compare. One child may be a great artist, another a math genius. One may need more time. One may need more trust.
   
2. Encourage Strengths, Don’t Highlight Weaknesses
   Let’s stop saying “You’re not good at this” — and start saying, “Let’s find what you love and grow in it.”
   
3. Make Goodness Attractive
   Stories from mythology, simple real-life examples, and daily conversations can teach kindness, resilience, and honesty — in ways no textbook can.
   
4. Stay Involved, Emotionally
   Whether you’re a parent or teacher, being emotionally available is the biggest gift you can give. More than quality time, it’s emotional time that makes a difference.
   
5. Balance Structure with Freedom
   Don’t trap children in a schedule cage. Allow them space to dream, create, fall, and get up again.
   

Why It Matters So Much Today

In this modern age of pressure, competition, and social comparison, suicides among students are rising. Especially from classes 9 to 12 — the very age when they need guidance the most.

Why?

Because somewhere, the triad of parent-teacher-student is breaking.
And we need to rebuild it.

Let’s Do This, Together

This is not about blame. This is about reflection. I’ve made mistakes. I’ve learned. And I’ve applied changes — small ones, but meaningful.

Even a small shift in how we see our children, how we talk to them, how we believe in them — can create a huge change.

Let’s promise to:

• Listen more than we instruct.
• Encourage more than we criticize.
• Guide more than we expect.
  

Because in the end, what’s more beautiful than a child’s smiling face?